Ten Things to Do if you Happen to Have a Black Cape


(Because I’ve been slow at reading the book I’m going to review next)

1. Stand to one side in a hallway. Even though you’re not hiding, you will still scare someone.
(Warning: results might vary from neglect, to fright, to violent reactions from fright.)

2. Pretend you’re an evil advisor to a gullible king.
(Very fun, but might give you a sore throat from speaking in a raspy voice)

3. Pretend you’re a Sith lord.
(There is no repercussions to this one)

4. Hide in the dark folds of the hood and take a nap.
(Very relaxing, and you get to freak people out into leaving you alone)

5. Pretend you’re a princess in exile running away from an escaped marriage.
(Er, no comment)

6. Pretend you’re the uber-cool antihero that seems like a villain but saves the hero in a nick of time in the end.
(Yeah, cause it’s just awesome)

7. Sit in a tavern and wait for suspicious hobbits.
(This doesn’t even NEED an explanation)

8. Go to a funeral wearing a skull mask and when asked what you’re doing, say, “Picking someone up.”
(WARNING: this might offend some people. Make sure they have a sense of black humor before attempting)

9. Use as a disguise while offering your enemies delicious looking apples.
(No comment on this either)

10. Procure a Guy Fawkes mask and hat with said cape, and then dramatically recite, “Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
(Yeah, BEST FUN THERE IS.)

Yeeeeaaah, I’ll post a book review sooner or later.

Till Then,
PenMaster

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3 Responses to “Ten Things to Do if you Happen to Have a Black Cape”

  1. invadermyna Says:

    *decides this is reason enough to buy a black cape*

    XD

  2. ha ha ha I love this list. I didn’t realized you were putting it on you r blog >.> I would have checked sooner lol.

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