Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Oh Wow, People Actually Still Comment on This!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 19, 2013 by penempress

My last post here was a whopping three years ago, and I’m tempted to delete this blog, but since people are still finding it and enjoying the posts I’ll leave them be, but be warned I will most likely not create new posts. The reason I stopped in the first place was that running a blog like this with well thought out posts was very time consuming, and time I did not, and do not have. Sorry about that!

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Ten Romance Novel Cliches

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on June 2, 2010 by penempress

1. The main character dies. Or the love interest dies. The point is, SOMEONE DIES.

2. The main heroine is escaping an arranged marriage.

3. The main heroine is a plucky adventurous girl.

4. The main love interest is “cute but troubled”

5. The main heroine is kidnapped by a rival love interest.

6. There must be at least ONE misunderstanding in the plot that causes conflict.

7. Either the love interest or the main character must be “so humble it’s to the point of self loathing.”

8. The love interest must be rescued at one point or the other.

9. The male love interest is always “handsome” “hot” “beautiful”

10. The main heroine’s rival is obviously prettier than her, yet the main hero will love the heroine indefinitely. Even though the main heroine generally loves the main hero for his looks.

Yeah, I made this cause I’m currently READING a romance novel. *is shot* I figured I couldn’t be biased against romance novels without READING one. But I can’t help but be infuriated by these things anyways so yeah.

Ten Things to Do if you Happen to Have a Black Cape

Posted in Uncategorized on May 22, 2010 by penempress

(Because I’ve been slow at reading the book I’m going to review next)

1. Stand to one side in a hallway. Even though you’re not hiding, you will still scare someone.
(Warning: results might vary from neglect, to fright, to violent reactions from fright.)

2. Pretend you’re an evil advisor to a gullible king.
(Very fun, but might give you a sore throat from speaking in a raspy voice)

3. Pretend you’re a Sith lord.
(There is no repercussions to this one)

4. Hide in the dark folds of the hood and take a nap.
(Very relaxing, and you get to freak people out into leaving you alone)

5. Pretend you’re a princess in exile running away from an escaped marriage.
(Er, no comment)

6. Pretend you’re the uber-cool antihero that seems like a villain but saves the hero in a nick of time in the end.
(Yeah, cause it’s just awesome)

7. Sit in a tavern and wait for suspicious hobbits.
(This doesn’t even NEED an explanation)

8. Go to a funeral wearing a skull mask and when asked what you’re doing, say, “Picking someone up.”
(WARNING: this might offend some people. Make sure they have a sense of black humor before attempting)

9. Use as a disguise while offering your enemies delicious looking apples.
(No comment on this either)

10. Procure a Guy Fawkes mask and hat with said cape, and then dramatically recite, “Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
(Yeah, BEST FUN THERE IS.)

Yeeeeaaah, I’ll post a book review sooner or later.

Till Then,
PenMaster

Greetings. *solemn nod*

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 11, 2010 by penempress

Hello all Internet skulking creatures you~  I am PenMaster, or Pen, or Pensie, or just plain, “Hey you.”. No, I’m not the master of pens, but I love pens and well it sounds downright cool. You know it does.

Anyways, I love to read. And after lots and lots of reading books, and learning how to write books, I realized that, “Hey, I can properly dissect books from a pretty unbiased point of view.”
So I thought, and thought, and thought some more, (you’ll see I’m a thinking person) and figured, “Hey I think I’ll write book reviews” and BAM I’m here. Deal with it if you haven’t already.
The kind of books I read actually are pretty far stretched from each other, so expect a certain level of variety. The kinds of reviews you’ll rarely find me read would be all-romance, historical fiction, and most kinds of vampire novels. I mean, I have read some, but not a lot. *coughs awkwardly*
Also amongst my rants about books, you might find rants about writing books. I happen to be a writer (although not a published one), and you will no doubt find me this November typing away for NaNoWriMo.
I will avoid writing about my personal life like a plague unless it’s to cook up an excuse as to why I haven’t posted anything. (If you end up caring if I post or not, in any case. Trying to cover up all angles here)
Okay, did I miss anything? No? Good. Then that is all, good-bye. *waves good-bye*